One of the best gifts that you can give your children is a good example. This obviously goes for all kinds of things - the way you talk, the way you act, how you react and deal with situations. The most important things they learn will be from watching you. Hence the saying, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Everything you do - everything - is being observed by the most important person in your life, observed and then mimicked in their own ways.
For example, baby talk makes that vein above my eye twitch. I know she's a baby and therefore does not speak yet but she can hear you and before you know it she'll be remembering the way your mouth moves and the sounds that you make with it. And you'll keep doing it because now it's routine for you. So when she's three she'll be telling people, "Wook at my wittle baby doll. Hers so cutsie-wutsie, isn't hers?" UM NO, "hers" is not. If we speak to babies the way we want them to speak when they get older it's just better for everyone - believe me. Baby talk is cute if it's something they've done themselves on accident and it only lasts a little while but if you handicap your child on purpose.....well, that's just mean.
We all throw a little smack-talk out (kinda like I do on my blog - see paragraph above for an example!). We get frustrated and we complain. It happens. But when you talk trash in front of your child they're picking up on the disrespect and often disdain in you voice and words and will treat the object of your scorn accordingly. You don't like your 8 year old son's teacher and you vent on your cell about how she never follows up with you and doesn't she know pink slips are going out? Your son sitting in the backseat heard all of that and in the next few days he'll begin to look at his teacher in a different light. When she tells him not to do something he won't listen the first time, or the second and before you know what's happened - he's totally ignoring her and the other teachers too. Eight years later you can't figure out why your teenager is such a disrespectful toerag to everyone - including you.
This one is my personal struggle - road rage. I tell myself, "it's just a few minutes of my day - who cares if I'm 2 minutes behind schedule, seriously?" It doesn't sink in though and I get so pissed off at idiots on the road. When the kids aren't in the car it's like I'm having a contest against myself for the most disgusting, rude things I can say or call people. So, of course, when they're in the car I'm concentrating so hard on not cussing and screaming that I forget how my body language looks. I'm tense and growling, I'm passing people and muttering about idiots. It's all bad. My kids see that I can't just roll with the punches like I tell them to all the time. A little thing happens, like someone not using their blinker, and I'm completely pissed off and my body shows it. My 6 year old looks the same when his friends aren't sharing (huffing and tensing - and angry).....and yet I expect him to relax and figure out a better way. Looks like I've got no one but me to blame for that one!
Try to remember the little ears and little eyes that are watching and learning from you how to be a person every moment of every day. Don't forget that these are the lessons that will shape they're lives - they may forget algebra or what makes something a conjunctive verb but they'll always pick their teeth at the table if they watch you do it for 18 years. And they'll always use their fists if they watch you do it for almost two decades. And they'll always break the rules if they watch you disregard them all the time. We want our children to have the best in life........well, that includes a good example.
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