I do not have cable and have not had cable for many years. Watching the clips from this years VMA's, I am over-the-moon glad that we made that decision so many years ago. Because she does not channel surf, my daughter's role models do not come from TV. She hand picks what she watches, instead of just flipping channels and settling on junk. Which means that as those teens have grown up and tried to shed the skin of innocence and be seen as grown ups - I have not had to fear that my daughter would follow suit. It is with a sigh of relief that I watched those VMA clips of Miley Cyrus in her spandex undies and flipped through the online pictures of Selena Gomez in a bustier (no one would even question her dress if she were 30, by the way) and the long line of other young actresses showing just how grown up they've become while their fans are still in training bras.
The mother part of me is aghast that young actresses would dress, act and perform this way - Miley, Britney, to name a few. But the girl part of me says, "hey - they just want to be seen as something beyond a Mousekeeter." I don't blame them for wanting to grown up. Annette Funicello did and was a lot of things - but when we remember her, we remember the Mousekeeter. Is that so bad though? Is being remembered for your innocence worse then being remembered for dancing around in your underwear, grinding on a man old enough to be your father while he sings a "rapey" song? Apparently for some girls the mouse ears must be discarded at all costs.....even if that means she must cross some "Blurred Lines." (oh yeah - I went there.)
I feel sorry for girls whose only choice is to follow female role models who aren't old enough or strong enough to make wise choices yet. By the time those impressionable girls realize that the strength of a woman does not begin and end with her vagina, it might be too late. Although our va-jay-jay is very much a part of our strength, it is not and should never be, the sum total of what makes us strong and sexy. Female strength comes from many things, intelligence, courage, morality, and the ability to be humbly aware of our power as women - to respect that power. How will young girls learn that that power doesn't come from their crotch - it comes from their heart, it comes from their convictions and their choices?
JK Rowling (she's famous and I've never seen her in her underwear) taught us, "It is our choices that define us....not our abilities." Make good choices, girls......make good choices.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Why Do the Days Move So Quickly?
When we were young (pre-children) it felt like a week took forever to go by. Going to work was something we did to pay for rent and booze and because that's what "grown ups" do in between weekends of drinking with our friends. But our REAL lives took place from Friday at 5pm to Sunday at midnight. And months? Years? That's forever from now! Planning ahead was spending enough of my meager paycheck on food before it went to beer and pizza. I'm still shocked that I could live off of peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches for weeks at a time. Incidentally, my hips are not shocked - they have fond memories of delicious fluffernutter sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
But now - now that I'm a GROWN UP (no laughing), it feels like the days just fly by. And it's all the stupid little things that make them go so fast - it's not even the good things. Forgot to take the books back to the library - again - woosh, 3 days went by. Keep meaning to make a check up appointment with the dentist - woosh - that was two weeks ago. Cook that steak that's in the freezer before it goes wonky - woosh - IS that steak? I can't see through the ice on it.
How did life speed up on me? Is it just me? Am I so disorganized that everyone else is running by while I'm still trying to find my left sneaker? I look at all these "this is how you get organized" websites and I just groan and grit my teeth. Who does that crap?? Who are these Martha Stewart fembots who seriously make a magnet reminder and chore board complete with backpack hook and personalized wall art for each child?? Are they on meth? Ritalin? Free-basing Starbucks?
Admit it - some of you pinned that and commented, "Totally doing this!" No. No you're not. You're not going to ever do that because you don't have time, no one has time. And if you miracled up some time somewhere (6 Starbucks and a hot glue gun later) it would only look like the pretty picture for the first day and then your kids would pile their crap under it and the magnet boards would either be empty (see bottom of backpack for important school notes that you missed) or so crowded with stuff that you forgot to go to, turn in, fill out or sign up for that you'd never see any chores that you would forget you gave to your kids after the first week anyway. Hey - we live in this insane, disorganized place, it's called REALITY. It's fine - no one really needs a backpack hook anyway. That's what doorknobs are for.
I mean, I'm pretty crafty. And I can costume like nobody's business. But my husband would say I'm a trash collector who occasionally makes something useful out of the pre-used piles of "someday projects" that fill my totes, closets, shelves and garage. In fact, he told me that I was grounded from Pinterest. Enh - what he doesn't know won't hurt him! And I'm pretty sure that he really wants a CD holder made from old flower pots or coffee cans or something.....now if I could just find an hour to MAKE it. Once again tho - IF I did make it, I would be so proud and we'd use it for a week then it would collect odds and ends from our disorganized lives and become trash again.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah - time. Darn Pinterest making me swerve to a crafting topic - see! Never enough time to finish anything.
Feel free to follow me on Pinterest though!
But now - now that I'm a GROWN UP (no laughing), it feels like the days just fly by. And it's all the stupid little things that make them go so fast - it's not even the good things. Forgot to take the books back to the library - again - woosh, 3 days went by. Keep meaning to make a check up appointment with the dentist - woosh - that was two weeks ago. Cook that steak that's in the freezer before it goes wonky - woosh - IS that steak? I can't see through the ice on it.
How did life speed up on me? Is it just me? Am I so disorganized that everyone else is running by while I'm still trying to find my left sneaker? I look at all these "this is how you get organized" websites and I just groan and grit my teeth. Who does that crap?? Who are these Martha Stewart fembots who seriously make a magnet reminder and chore board complete with backpack hook and personalized wall art for each child?? Are they on meth? Ritalin? Free-basing Starbucks?
Admit it - some of you pinned that and commented, "Totally doing this!" No. No you're not. You're not going to ever do that because you don't have time, no one has time. And if you miracled up some time somewhere (6 Starbucks and a hot glue gun later) it would only look like the pretty picture for the first day and then your kids would pile their crap under it and the magnet boards would either be empty (see bottom of backpack for important school notes that you missed) or so crowded with stuff that you forgot to go to, turn in, fill out or sign up for that you'd never see any chores that you would forget you gave to your kids after the first week anyway. Hey - we live in this insane, disorganized place, it's called REALITY. It's fine - no one really needs a backpack hook anyway. That's what doorknobs are for.
I mean, I'm pretty crafty. And I can costume like nobody's business. But my husband would say I'm a trash collector who occasionally makes something useful out of the pre-used piles of "someday projects" that fill my totes, closets, shelves and garage. In fact, he told me that I was grounded from Pinterest. Enh - what he doesn't know won't hurt him! And I'm pretty sure that he really wants a CD holder made from old flower pots or coffee cans or something.....now if I could just find an hour to MAKE it. Once again tho - IF I did make it, I would be so proud and we'd use it for a week then it would collect odds and ends from our disorganized lives and become trash again.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah - time. Darn Pinterest making me swerve to a crafting topic - see! Never enough time to finish anything.
Feel free to follow me on Pinterest though!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
BOYCOTT BLACK THANKSGIVING!
I am obviously not the quintessential 50's housewife. Quite the furthest thing, actually. BUT there are a lot of moral high roads that we bypass since "old fashioned" became the road not taken. One of those should be drawn back on our map.
Since the Great Recession started, stores have done everything they possibly can to get consumers back in their buildings and back to filling up their carts with unnecessary goods. I don't blame them, they're trying to stay afloat and they employ people in my city too BUT when we stop having integrity and start taking advantage - that's where I draw a line in the sand.
Years ago Black Friday was at 6am the Friday after Thanksgiving. It was tradition for a lot of people to go through their newspaper ads after Thanksgiving dinner and make a plan of attack, get up at 5, throw on some sweats, grab a coffee, pick up the other ladies in the shopping carpool and hit the stores just as they opened. It was fun to get some good deals, get most of your shopping out of the way, feel like you accomplished something - all before 9 am.
Then a store (we won't name names Ghetto-Mart) decided that if they opened their store an hour earlier that they would get people to spend all their hard earned Christmas savings before the other stores even opened. It was a beneficial plan - a monetarily beneficial plan. It was not a good plan though, good implies integrity and that officially left the building the moment some big-wig suggested crossing that line. The worst part? Their deals aren't on toys and scarves and cute sweaters for teenage nieces - NO, their deals are on giant TVs, Blu-ray players, DVD's, Kitchen Aid Mixers. Apparently Christmas is about giving but Black Friday is about KEEPING.
And that was just an hour extra! The next year it became 4am, and then 3am, and then we had to take it up a couple notches because competition was getting fierce - the malls, the stores, everyone - opened at midnight on Thanksgiving night. Fine for the shoppers - they got a few hours of turkey-induced sleep before heading out or they stayed up to shop and then went home with a car full of packages to sleep at 4am. But what about the employees? Oh wait, we forgot about them in our selfish need for $5 pajamas. Yes, they have to be in the store even earlier - sometimes 4 hours earlier - to stock the shelves, set up riot gear, etc.
Oh wait, what's that you say? This year it's 8pm??? Are we cancelling Thanksgiving? Oh....just for the people who work in retail - whew, I thought it affected me. It's fine then - let's look at the ads! NO. The buck stops here. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. Those people in the blue vests or the red shirts with the tired eyes and the slumped, defeated shoulders - those are mothers, fathers, sisters, boyfriends, daughters, sons, single dads or moms. They're us. And they deserve turkey-induced sleep just as much.
What's that saying? "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for everything." It's true. I know, I know - you want that 52 inch plasma 3D TV for $400 and you're willing to camp out in the freezing cold, miss out on turkey dinner, and fight tooth and nail to get it.....what does that say about you? Just stop, imagine that you can actually freeze time, take a step away and take a good look at yourself. Do you like what you see? Do you look like some crazed animal fighting over a scrap of meat? Is that bargain TV essential to your life? Probably not, and you can get almost the same deal in January when the stores are trying to unload all the extra product - and you'll still have your morals when you fork over the cash for it.
So - take a stand, stop the buck, just say no - whatever. The shoppers outnumber the stores. If we say NO, if we refuse to shop at stores opening on Thanksgiving and Christmas (movie theaters and Starbucks I'm talking to you) then we can make a difference, we can show them that the holidays are really about family, about whatever religious views you might have, about giving - anything, anything except consuming.
BOYCOTT BLACK THANKSGIVING!
Help Target Employees make a stand! Sign their petitions here!
Help Wal-Mart Employees make a stand! Sign their petitions here!
Since the Great Recession started, stores have done everything they possibly can to get consumers back in their buildings and back to filling up their carts with unnecessary goods. I don't blame them, they're trying to stay afloat and they employ people in my city too BUT when we stop having integrity and start taking advantage - that's where I draw a line in the sand.
Years ago Black Friday was at 6am the Friday after Thanksgiving. It was tradition for a lot of people to go through their newspaper ads after Thanksgiving dinner and make a plan of attack, get up at 5, throw on some sweats, grab a coffee, pick up the other ladies in the shopping carpool and hit the stores just as they opened. It was fun to get some good deals, get most of your shopping out of the way, feel like you accomplished something - all before 9 am.
Then a store (we won't name names Ghetto-Mart) decided that if they opened their store an hour earlier that they would get people to spend all their hard earned Christmas savings before the other stores even opened. It was a beneficial plan - a monetarily beneficial plan. It was not a good plan though, good implies integrity and that officially left the building the moment some big-wig suggested crossing that line. The worst part? Their deals aren't on toys and scarves and cute sweaters for teenage nieces - NO, their deals are on giant TVs, Blu-ray players, DVD's, Kitchen Aid Mixers. Apparently Christmas is about giving but Black Friday is about KEEPING.
And that was just an hour extra! The next year it became 4am, and then 3am, and then we had to take it up a couple notches because competition was getting fierce - the malls, the stores, everyone - opened at midnight on Thanksgiving night. Fine for the shoppers - they got a few hours of turkey-induced sleep before heading out or they stayed up to shop and then went home with a car full of packages to sleep at 4am. But what about the employees? Oh wait, we forgot about them in our selfish need for $5 pajamas. Yes, they have to be in the store even earlier - sometimes 4 hours earlier - to stock the shelves, set up riot gear, etc.
Oh wait, what's that you say? This year it's 8pm??? Are we cancelling Thanksgiving? Oh....just for the people who work in retail - whew, I thought it affected me. It's fine then - let's look at the ads! NO. The buck stops here. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. Those people in the blue vests or the red shirts with the tired eyes and the slumped, defeated shoulders - those are mothers, fathers, sisters, boyfriends, daughters, sons, single dads or moms. They're us. And they deserve turkey-induced sleep just as much.
What's that saying? "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for everything." It's true. I know, I know - you want that 52 inch plasma 3D TV for $400 and you're willing to camp out in the freezing cold, miss out on turkey dinner, and fight tooth and nail to get it.....what does that say about you? Just stop, imagine that you can actually freeze time, take a step away and take a good look at yourself. Do you like what you see? Do you look like some crazed animal fighting over a scrap of meat? Is that bargain TV essential to your life? Probably not, and you can get almost the same deal in January when the stores are trying to unload all the extra product - and you'll still have your morals when you fork over the cash for it.
So - take a stand, stop the buck, just say no - whatever. The shoppers outnumber the stores. If we say NO, if we refuse to shop at stores opening on Thanksgiving and Christmas (movie theaters and Starbucks I'm talking to you) then we can make a difference, we can show them that the holidays are really about family, about whatever religious views you might have, about giving - anything, anything except consuming.
BOYCOTT BLACK THANKSGIVING!
Help Target Employees make a stand! Sign their petitions here!
Help Wal-Mart Employees make a stand! Sign their petitions here!
Friday, October 5, 2012
Let's Talk About Sex - or Not.
Knowledge is power but sometimes it's a burden too big to carry just yet. Life is a very long journey and I don't believe that we should add the weight of "the sex talk" to our children's shoulders before they're strong enough to carry it. In fact, I don't think we should add the weight of a lot of things until they're ready.
When the kids at my daughter's school first started talking about sex she was in 4th grade. The boys were discussing it and she kept her distance because she said they were "gross" and she didn't want to learn anything from them - especially not about sex. Smart girl. It's not always boys who bring the knowledge but I imagine a lot of times it is. I really can't blame them though - half of their brain has been thinking about their penis since they first found it at two months old. I have a son, I remember the first time he was quicker than I was during a diaper change and managed to grab ahold of it. It was like Christmas, his birthday, and Fourth of July all at once - I think fireworks went off. If he could have had a thought bubble floating above his head it would have read something like, "An extra arm! A squishy one! Why didn't you tell me!" And that's it - from that moment on, half their brain is learning while the other half is wondering what their dangly little friend is doing.
You really can't blame them - I mean, honestly ladies, if your boobs were jiggling around all day, brushing against your shirt, bouncing when you ran - you'd be half thinking about them too, right? Yeah, we would. I'm convinced that if women had ruled the world around the time that bras were created there'd be over-the-hip-one-eyed-snake-holders instead of over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders!
Anyway, so most often boys bring the knowledge of sex to school. And girls pretend they don't care but then come home and ask their mothers. That's what mine did. In fourth grade! I nearly had a heart attack. She's smart, she could have handled it but did I really want her to? Did I want to weigh her down with that and all the unanswered questions that came with it? Split second parent decision making time......so I said, "well, sweetie, I will tell you if you really want to know but I think of innocence like a hallway - sex is the last door in that hallway. There are a lot of doors to discover all sorts of things through but sex is a one way door. Once you open the door on that knowledge you can never come back to this hallway and find out what's through the other doors. The entire world is on the other side of that door, but you've got a lot of time left to discover that side still. Think about it and tell me when you're ready. " I got a year and a half of innocent discovery before the video at school confirmed her suspicions and the door was opened. And I'm ok with that - for my tiny person, 9 was just too young to carry that kind of knowledge.
That's not to say that she completely changed in that moment - there wasn't much change at all actually. And she's still innocently discovering all kinds of wonderful things. But her acceptance of people kissing in movies and then the scene going dark was different, she now knew what that darkness was hiding before the next scene appeared. Like I said, once you go through the door - you can never go back. And once they go through that door - WE can never go back. At that moment in time, the axis tilts and your baby is now on the other side of childhood, the side where growing up is the destination, the side where you have to step back and let them make mistakes, let them fall, let them carry their own pack.
I don't like that side. It makes me want to have ten kids so I've always got one that still needs me until it's time to have grand kids. Wait, that's crazy talk - someone slap me!
Back to the subject, just because a child asks doesn't mean we have to tell them yet. My kids have always known how babies are born, they know that in nature it takes a male and female to make a baby, an egg, a new flower, whatever. I never lied to them about any of their questions and I never sidetracked them, I just let them decide if they were ready to carry that yet. Kids are smart, they know that there are things that they don't know yet, and things they aren't ready for yet. Sometimes they ask and they don't even really want to know - they just can't let the question go unasked. Adults are like that too.....except we ask and have already formed an opinion so the answer doesn't really matter!
When the kids at my daughter's school first started talking about sex she was in 4th grade. The boys were discussing it and she kept her distance because she said they were "gross" and she didn't want to learn anything from them - especially not about sex. Smart girl. It's not always boys who bring the knowledge but I imagine a lot of times it is. I really can't blame them though - half of their brain has been thinking about their penis since they first found it at two months old. I have a son, I remember the first time he was quicker than I was during a diaper change and managed to grab ahold of it. It was like Christmas, his birthday, and Fourth of July all at once - I think fireworks went off. If he could have had a thought bubble floating above his head it would have read something like, "An extra arm! A squishy one! Why didn't you tell me!" And that's it - from that moment on, half their brain is learning while the other half is wondering what their dangly little friend is doing.
You really can't blame them - I mean, honestly ladies, if your boobs were jiggling around all day, brushing against your shirt, bouncing when you ran - you'd be half thinking about them too, right? Yeah, we would. I'm convinced that if women had ruled the world around the time that bras were created there'd be over-the-hip-one-eyed-snake-holders instead of over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders!
Anyway, so most often boys bring the knowledge of sex to school. And girls pretend they don't care but then come home and ask their mothers. That's what mine did. In fourth grade! I nearly had a heart attack. She's smart, she could have handled it but did I really want her to? Did I want to weigh her down with that and all the unanswered questions that came with it? Split second parent decision making time......so I said, "well, sweetie, I will tell you if you really want to know but I think of innocence like a hallway - sex is the last door in that hallway. There are a lot of doors to discover all sorts of things through but sex is a one way door. Once you open the door on that knowledge you can never come back to this hallway and find out what's through the other doors. The entire world is on the other side of that door, but you've got a lot of time left to discover that side still. Think about it and tell me when you're ready. " I got a year and a half of innocent discovery before the video at school confirmed her suspicions and the door was opened. And I'm ok with that - for my tiny person, 9 was just too young to carry that kind of knowledge.
That's not to say that she completely changed in that moment - there wasn't much change at all actually. And she's still innocently discovering all kinds of wonderful things. But her acceptance of people kissing in movies and then the scene going dark was different, she now knew what that darkness was hiding before the next scene appeared. Like I said, once you go through the door - you can never go back. And once they go through that door - WE can never go back. At that moment in time, the axis tilts and your baby is now on the other side of childhood, the side where growing up is the destination, the side where you have to step back and let them make mistakes, let them fall, let them carry their own pack.
I don't like that side. It makes me want to have ten kids so I've always got one that still needs me until it's time to have grand kids. Wait, that's crazy talk - someone slap me!
Back to the subject, just because a child asks doesn't mean we have to tell them yet. My kids have always known how babies are born, they know that in nature it takes a male and female to make a baby, an egg, a new flower, whatever. I never lied to them about any of their questions and I never sidetracked them, I just let them decide if they were ready to carry that yet. Kids are smart, they know that there are things that they don't know yet, and things they aren't ready for yet. Sometimes they ask and they don't even really want to know - they just can't let the question go unasked. Adults are like that too.....except we ask and have already formed an opinion so the answer doesn't really matter!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Eating Clean.....Again.
Like a lot of moms my diet has slowly deteriorated over the years since becoming a mom. Ok, fine - it was always bad. But, summer of 2011 I started eating better, doing these diet drops and then after I dropped 73 pounds (for real) I started working out 4 or 5 times a week and "eating clean."
In layman's terms, eating clean means that you don't eat anything with chemicals or preservatives. That's the short version, if you ask an eating clean guru they can give you a 24 hour lecture but basically it boils down to: if it's not natural, don't eat it. I ate this way for 6 months and felt AMAZING. I had tons of energy, got up almost every morning at 4:30 to work out, had some sexy muscles in places I had never had muscles before. It was good.....and then.....
I can't say I got tired of healthy food or hungry for a burger with actual buns - no, it was much more complicated and lazy than that. This June my husband went on his annual "man-trip" with the guys so the kids and I had 4-night-long slumber party in the living room. We swam in our pool until after dark, stayed up until 11 or 12 watching kids movies, ate pizza and ice cream and every day was "no pants day" (an actual holiday, feel free to click on the link and start celebrating it yourself!).
It was literally the worst 4 days of my stomach's life. By then though, the damage was done. Once you eat delicious, bad-for-you food you want more, and more, and more. Until it's the end of September and your pants are too tight, your body is sluggish and you've forgotten the number on your gym membership.
I finally decided enough was enough....again. After 2 days of detoxing with lots of water and clean eating I have realized how bad I really did feel, how much drive-thrus were really costing me! I went back to the gym on the first day and after an hour I felt like a large, sweaty hippo. I used to feel great after a workout - like I could kick some mugger's hiney if he tried anything on my way out to the car. Instead, being rolled out to my car sounded like a great option this weekend and unfortunately drove home the proof that I had backtracked too far to be able to make any excuses anymore.
So - here I go again. I'm counting calories, paying attention to sugars and fats, avoiding anything processed and hopefully breathing with my pants buttoned again. I highly suggest trying a week of eating clean. It might just change your life or at least your waistline! Full time is not for everyone but a clean week every now and then might remind us that a lot of the food that we put in our kid's tummies is filled with so many chemicals you could use it as rat poison. To quote the awesome kids show Yo Gabba Gabba: "So yummy for my tummy....so yummy, so yummy....NOT." Okay, Okay, I might have added that last part.
In layman's terms, eating clean means that you don't eat anything with chemicals or preservatives. That's the short version, if you ask an eating clean guru they can give you a 24 hour lecture but basically it boils down to: if it's not natural, don't eat it. I ate this way for 6 months and felt AMAZING. I had tons of energy, got up almost every morning at 4:30 to work out, had some sexy muscles in places I had never had muscles before. It was good.....and then.....
I can't say I got tired of healthy food or hungry for a burger with actual buns - no, it was much more complicated and lazy than that. This June my husband went on his annual "man-trip" with the guys so the kids and I had 4-night-long slumber party in the living room. We swam in our pool until after dark, stayed up until 11 or 12 watching kids movies, ate pizza and ice cream and every day was "no pants day" (an actual holiday, feel free to click on the link and start celebrating it yourself!).
It was literally the worst 4 days of my stomach's life. By then though, the damage was done. Once you eat delicious, bad-for-you food you want more, and more, and more. Until it's the end of September and your pants are too tight, your body is sluggish and you've forgotten the number on your gym membership.
I finally decided enough was enough....again. After 2 days of detoxing with lots of water and clean eating I have realized how bad I really did feel, how much drive-thrus were really costing me! I went back to the gym on the first day and after an hour I felt like a large, sweaty hippo. I used to feel great after a workout - like I could kick some mugger's hiney if he tried anything on my way out to the car. Instead, being rolled out to my car sounded like a great option this weekend and unfortunately drove home the proof that I had backtracked too far to be able to make any excuses anymore.
So - here I go again. I'm counting calories, paying attention to sugars and fats, avoiding anything processed and hopefully breathing with my pants buttoned again. I highly suggest trying a week of eating clean. It might just change your life or at least your waistline! Full time is not for everyone but a clean week every now and then might remind us that a lot of the food that we put in our kid's tummies is filled with so many chemicals you could use it as rat poison. To quote the awesome kids show Yo Gabba Gabba: "So yummy for my tummy....so yummy, so yummy....NOT." Okay, Okay, I might have added that last part.
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